How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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