That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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