I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
