Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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