Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
