My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i permit you to call me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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