I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
