were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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