HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
