Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
