I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
