Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
