ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize