So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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