You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
