party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
