Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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