idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
