Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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