wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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