EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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