im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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