and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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