Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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