I think i peed on brittanys purse
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
