i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
