I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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