i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
