Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she told me i tasted like america
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
