If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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