Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
