So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
