is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
