VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
