yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
