it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
