what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize