Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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