I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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