He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I currently don't understand fingers.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
