One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
