I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You did what with his pubic hair?
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