can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
