I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize