I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
