No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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