I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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