so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
