My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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