I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Sorry about my life...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
