i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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