Yo dont text me then not text me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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