I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
