woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
