I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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