just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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