Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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