Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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