dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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