Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
