Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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