I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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