i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
