He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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